Calming down is the first step in anger control”

European University of Lefke (EUL) Psychology Department academic staff member Asst. Prof. Dr. Cemaliye Direktör made statements about “Anger Control”. Stating that anger is a basic emotion felt by everyone, Direktör said, “Everyone feels anger when they are wronged or prevented. Just like other emotions, from mild irritability to anger can be felt at different levels. We often confuse anger with violence or aggression. That’s why we keep trying not to get angry. “We are afraid of being angry,” he said. Stating that anger is essentially a healthy and natural emotion,  Direktör said, “The important thing is how we express it. If we express anger strongly, it may cause interpersonal problems, deterioration in work life, physical or psychological problems ”. The director emphasized the importance of controlling the sense of anger accordingly, adding that hitting, slap or swearing is often described as negative expressions of anger.

eing offended is also an expression of anger

Stating that being offended is also an expression of anger and can be harmful when used for a long time like others, Direktör said, “To be offended is to punish the other by depriving our love and interest. Therefore, it means that we cannot cope well with situations that make us angry,  ”she said. “Anger that is not expressed in a healthy way causes us to distance themselves from others and see ourselves even more justified. If we get angry early and spoil our close relationship with the other, or if we do not get angry at all, then we should think that we are not able to control our anger in a healthy way, ”said Direktör.“ It is we who know everything! ” “It is none other than us who suffered injustice!” When we get angry, we naturally protect ourselves and don’t hear what others say. “We pick up the incoming voices selectively, which is the choice of those who will show us disrespect.”

The most effective method to control anger is the break method

“The other person tells us 10 sentences, 9 of them are positive and 1 of them is negative. If we are angry, we only hear that one sentence and increase the level of our anger. At that moment, we lack the ability to understand or empathize with the other. For this reason, we should control our reactions when we get angry. ” Direktör stated that the most effective method for this anger control is the break method. “When you feel angry, go to a place where you will be alone but calm. If possible, go for a walk or go to your room and be alone. Anger is between at least two people. It is not enough for you to just calm down. You should wait for the other person to calm down as well. Talking to others can sometimes be comforting, but every time the discussion topic is told, the script is rewritten by us. This causes our anger to increase. It makes the solution difficult. Instead, talking about different topics makes it easier to calm down. Calming down is the first step in anger management. The second step is to talk to the person we are angry with, ”said the Direktör, but drew attention to a point that should not be forgotten, adding that each individual will have a different time to calm down and it is necessary to make sure that both parties are calm before speaking.

Stating that the conversations made with you language re-blend the problem and instead of speaking with “I language”, the Direktör said, “You are always like this, you always disrespect, you never think of me” should not take place in the control of anger. “When you raised your voice to me I thought I was not a good mother, I was angry at thinking about that. Maybe you were just trying to explain yourself to me but you don’t need to shout out loud for that. When we say “I am always with you”, we actually explain what we think and feel at that moment. She also stated that a healthier communication can be established since the other party is not approached with a negative criticism.

Direktör: When we’re stressed, it’s harder to control anger

Direktör, “When we’re stressed, it’s harder to control anger. When we become aware of our thoughts that generate stress, we see that they are exaggerated, as in anger. It is very important that we deal with stress in a healthy way in order to control anger. For this, what we have to do is make some effort to get to know ourselves. “It is watching ourselves and not being afraid of what we see.”